(Illustrations by Malcolm Rolling)
All too often while visiting a Gallery for an opening night, I witness my people (black people) partaking in irregular behavior. Behavior which can be considered as “bad” art observation. ATTENTION ! Black people we’ve gotta chill out. In our natural state of interest we tend to go a tad bit too far, we have to play it cool. In its most profound state art is a way of expression an extension of the artist and their thoughts, which are presented for the viewers pleasure. With that level of commitment between creator and observer there are a set of unwritten rules. We MUST know what not to do when viewing a private or public collection of art. Below are examples of incorrect behavior while attending a gallery or museum.
1.) “Back yard Blues”
(Man if u don’t get ya asss from in front of this door) A gallery is a place that should feel inviting. when approaching the event attendees shouldn’t be met with the obstacle of fighting through a crowd at the door.
2.) Braille Reader
Theres never a dull moment during an opening night but please don’t be the person escorted out the museum for becoming too familiar with the art. Even if your intentions were good now is not the appropriate time to caress this display of art.
3.) The Performer
The notion that black people won’t attend a gallery setting unless theres something relatable to attract them first. We all fall victim to this but its the harsh truth that visual art hasn’t be integrated in our culture enough to stand on its own.
4.) The Negative
The most classic character in the evenings affair is an art connoisseur, whose art prowess will not allow a single compliment to roll off there tongue. They’ve bared witness to decades of monumental art and is unimpressed by todays presentation. This is just a trivial display of art which will never come close to what they’ve seen. Mean while our art connoisseur cant reach around and pull out that mile long wedgie which is stuck up their ass. Theres nothing wrong with critiquing art just don’t over do it.
5.) Lazy Asses
Most galleries or museum have seats in the exhibit area but there honestly not for sitting especially on opening night, more decorative than anything. Way too often do I see four people trying there best to hold on to a two seat bench. This is an art exhibit its ok to interact with other attendees.(get ya ass up n be social) Theres a time for rest but now is not that time if your legs are tired from the heroic stance of socializing around art please see to the nearest exit for quickest way home.
6.) Overly Proud
(My child is the best the most amazing, the greatest, ehhhh maybe there just an artist.) If your child is an artist please nurture there creativity, allow them to express them selves and be proud but please don’t chase down everyone who walks past there art work. Just because you love your child doesn’t mean i love there work. (its cool bruh)
7.) Long Arms Short Pockets
Once the night has ended and the show is over every well put together artist/gallery or museum has collected a contact sheet full of attendees who will be contacted with hopes of purchasing art and attending the following event. Which takes us to our last irregular behavior. Theres always a pursuer of art who doesn’t believe they should pay just because they think your work is amazing and that there adoration is all the compensation you would need.( adoration never paid these bills my g) (Yo! ur work is soooo dope tho bruh) but my pockets should be doper. If you like what you’ve seen pay for it, if you can’t afford it, purchasing art isn’t for you just yet.(maybe your just not that boss ass nigga you thought u was)